It's a tough Christmas for Charlie, and his family - except for Tori - isn't helping. Elle and Tao talk about sex, and sparks fly at a New Year's party.
For the Spring family, the holidays are simply something they have to endure. They'll be fine so long as they make it through the day. Charlie and Tori dread their relatives coming over to celebrate Christmas. They barely get any sleep at all. They have each other. That provides comfort. They understand completely what this day is going to be. They have low expectations. They want to be surprised and supported. And yet, the day goes exactly as expected. Grandparents make bad comments about appearances and mental health. No one tries to understand what Charlie has just gone through. It's just a problem that was fixed. He requires no more attention than that. Moreover, his issues can't always be solved by getting him to eat. He's still a teenager who gets annoyed. He swings into moods because people only want to see his disease. He was diagnosed with mental illness. He is so much more than that. He remains carefully monitored at home. Everyone knows what happened. They only wish to see the broad strokes of his life. Tori is the only one who offers true love. Charlie repays her by abandoning her at the party. He seeks comfort at Nick's house. He has a place to go. Tori doesn't have that same luxury.
Some people at the Nelson family party know what's been going on with Charlie too. In fact, David makes several horrible comments. They are perhaps worse than what Charlie hears from his relatives. They are delivered to Nick as a way to cut him down. David still believes in the inherent goodness of his father. Nick has accepted he shouldn't expect anything from the man. That has allowed him to move on and embrace all the love he already has. The family would offer that to David as well. He just doesn't care about them. The one person he wants continually fails to show up. It's a familiar pattern. Yet he refuses to give up hope. He wants Nick to feel bad too. That's not healthy. It's pure projection. He doesn't want Nick to feel like a savior because he guided his boyfriend throughout a dramatic time. Nick doesn't see himself that way. He offers Charlie support when he needs it. He knows Charlie would do the same for him. They have total and complete respect. That trust creates a powerful bond. Everyone else in the room feels it. Yes, they obsess over Nick's new dog, Henry. However, everything just feels so much more relaxed. No one is making Nick and Charlie feel as if they should be anyone other than who they are. That's the most beautiful gift.
Charlie has that beyond his relationship with Nick though. He believes Nick is the only one who doesn't see him as mentally ill. That's a devastating blow to Tori. She doesn't deserve that. She is welcome at Nick's house too. She shouldn't suffer either. She summarizes what happened after Charlie left. Tori had to fend for herself. She did so despite wanting to spend time with her brother. That's what would have made this holiday special. People care for Charlie. He can't just rely on what has always provided safety. Yes, that's a scary prospect. It offers plenty of rewards down the line too. Plus, Charlie now has the tools through therapy to enter the unknown without worrying about the potential damage to his mental health. He can't prepare for everything. But it's also a pure celebration when he arrives at a New Year's Eve party and is immediately embraced by his friends. This is the first time they have seen him in months. He doesn't feel like providing an answer to those who wonder where he's been. Nick still protects him in those circumstances. When Charlie is surrounded by friends, a party atmosphere like this is still fun and exciting. It leaves him in a better headspace to provide support when Tori needs it. He knows she doesn't actually connect with her friends. She will connect with someone who sees the world as she does at some point. That is almost immediately granted too.
At Christmas, Nick and Charlie are given the privacy to kiss as intensely as they want. That too is something they haven't done in awhile. Their connection is intensifying. Charlie's insecurities are still prevalent. They shouldn't be compared to any other couple. The thematic parallels are there though. Tao doesn't think twice about changing in front of Elle. It's only afterwards that he realized she enjoyed the show. Meanwhile, Charlie asks Nick to turn around while he changes. He looks ridiculous because Nick's clothes don't exactly fit. He still enjoys wearing them. They make him feel close to his boyfriend. He didn't think before going out in the rain. He needed to escape. He's now the one soaking wet on the doorstep. He doesn't need to talk about what happened previously in the day. It's just enough to say it sucked. Nick knows how to provide Charlie what he needs. Their relationship is back on track. They missed each other so much during the two months Charlie was away. It was good in the long run. Plus, Charlie continues to have weekly sessions with Geoff. He also now has Nick as his personal driver. He makes that joke as they head out for the New Year's Eve party. The worst is seemingly behind them. Of course, everything could get dark again at some point in the future. It doesn't guarantee the same response or outcome. The issues for the immediate future are different.
Moreover, Tao and Elle have their own issues to overcome before growing more intimate. They both want to have sex. Tao doesn't think before touching Elle's body. He is in love with her. He rarely thinks about her being trans. And yet, that is a huge part of her identity. It's never something she can forget about. She's confident in her life. So much is going well. She has an incredible boyfriend. She continues to gain followers on social media. Body dysmorphia still hits her at unexpected times. The two needed to talk about that before going any further. They aren't people who worry or overthink things before doing them. In this situation, Elle sees the potential for things to go wrong or become awkward. She didn't believe she would want to share her body with someone else. She has comfort in the power it has given her after transitioning. That power can still be cruelly taken away at any moment. Tao will be understanding regardless of what happens. And so, they decide to push all concerns to the side. They have sex in a strange bedroom at a party. It's a bold move. It's potentially reckless. It's the latest expression of their desires. They had to take this step. The fallout will determine the ongoing strength of their bond. It shouldn't have that much pressure attached. It's also clearly important to both of them. And so, they must navigate this new aspect of their relationship.
Some extra thoughts:
- At Halloween, Nick wanted to escape a party and find someplace cozy with Charlie. That pattern repeats at New Year's Eve. However, it occurs in a more public space around a fire. Plus, they got the epic romance moment of kissing at midnight surrounded by people while fireworks go off. That's something neither of them could have imagined before now.
- Sahar realized she was bisexual because she had a crush on Imogen. She gained confidence in her sexual orientation without starting a relationship. Her journey is different than Nick's. Meanwhile, Imogen had no idea she played that role in Sahar's discovery. That vulnerability leads them back to each other even though they haven't spoken since their drunken kiss at Halloween.
- Imogen doesn't believe she kissed Sahar as a way to experiment or have a fun time at a party. She actually doesn't know what she's feeling. It requires actual communication while somewhat sober to better understand. Even then, it quickly leads right back to a kiss. That's what their dynamic has become whether they are comfortable talking about it afterwards or not.
- Tara is clearly next in line for a mental health crisis. Her family and friends are so proud of her. She has a great relationship. She does well in school. She has many options for her future. All of those responsibilities may be too much. She would rather run away and say everything is fine when it clearly isn't. As with Charlie, that's proven not to be a healthy coping mechanism.
- Tori meets Michael. They bump into each other at the party. Their eyes lock. They can't look away. They don't share a conversation. Yet the animation immediately indicates the importance of this new dynamic. Plus, the detail being a snowflake is a nice nod to Alice Oseman's first novel "This Winter."
- As a reader of the webcomic, I try not to compare how the adaptation handles pivotal moments. However, it's nice to see Oliver Spring involved in the show. It too is a nice nod to the source material. That's especially true when Charlie, Tori and Oliver are all playing Mario Kart. It's unfortunate Nick isn't involved somehow.
- A family party is held at Sarah's house and she is no where to be found. That's the most glaring example of Olivia Colman's absence so far this season. No explanation is given whatsoever as to why she isn't there. Diane's return is a nice addition though. She got to meet Charlie!
